A professional mess
by Icebird2000
Summary: Post Season 2x06, Alex is trying to cope in her own way with rejection.


Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or any of the characters. This is written just in fun, and no copyright infringement was intended and I receive no monetary gain.

Summary: Post Season 2x06, Alex is trying to cope in her own way with rejection.

Author's note: unbetaded so all spelling mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **Being professional at a crime scene**

At an alien crime scene a couple of days after Alex got rejected.

Agent Danvers was kneeling, studying the mangled corpse when Detective Sawyer joined her.

"Hi, what have we got this time?"Sawyer asked with her usual nonchalance.

"Hey, ... another victim of the grey gardener." Alex replied without looking up. An awkward silence settled while both examined the victim.

"I haven't seen you at the bar lately. How are you doing?" asked Maggie, a tentative smile on her face. Alex hesitated, just a few seconds but what the h*ll, she was too tired to come up with anything but the truth.

"What do you expect? You walked all over my heart and d*mn I had forgotten how much that hurts."

"I'm sorry."Maggie said softly.

"Don't worry, I don't blame you. I should've kept my stupid mouth shut. And you were right, no good comes from mixing work with pleasure."

"That's not what I said."

Alex interrupted her, "Whatever! It doesn't really matter anymore since you are not interested and I am not going to play around so the point is moot, really."

"Listen"

"No! You listen Sawyer." Alex was almost shouting now.

"This conversation is over. OVER! Let's be professional and get the work done. I don't have all day."

And with that Agent Danvers turned her back and walked away. She was angry, at the world, at Maggie, but mostly at herself for getting herself into this mess in the first place. "Just what I needed." Alex thought as she stormed off, "As if my life is not complicated enough already."

* * *

 **Going down the rabbit hole**

But her heart continued to hurt. She avoided going out to crime scenes or the alien bar or any place really that she was likely to bump into the detective. She buried herself in her work, a method she had perfected over the years. She worked double shifts, volunteered for the graveyard shift; did her paperwork, all of it! (to Hank's never ending astonishment and Lucy's delight). And in triplicate where required! She started training harder and longer with a determination and aggressiveness that made most sparring partners flee after the second round. Anything to stay in the DEO and avoid the outside world, anything to keep her mentally and physically exhausted. Hank more than once found her asleep in the DEO obs center, headphones tuned in to the police scanner, scolding her for not going home.

When she would find her way to her Spartan apartment, she would crash on the sofa watching endless, mindnumbing reruns on the TV in the ever more frequent company of a bottle or two, drinking herself into a stupor until dreamless oblivion swallowed her for a couple of merciful hours.

Kara could just stand by helplessly because Alex refused to talk, hiding behind a stony face and an iron "I'm fine. Leave it alone." Alex didn't want to talk because it made her cry and she was just so tired of crying, of feeling weak and vulnerable and exposed and ever so, so, so very stupid and helpless.

But no matter how hard Alex tried, she couldn't forget her. She continued to catch herself daydreaming about Maggie's smile or the tiny sparkles in her eyes. She would turn around in the queue of the coffee shop, convinced she heard Maggie's gentle laughter just to stare at a complete stranger's face.

It took Alex two weeks to realize that this time, her strategy didn't cut it; not only had she fallen hard for the feisty brunette, she also missed Maggie as a friend. She missed the geeking out together, the relaxed silence they shared, the thrill of hunting together, of combining their minds to outsmart the latest villain. There was no way around it, they were good together, they worked well together, each brilliant in their own right but ooh such fireworks when they teamed up.

And it had been a long time since Alex had made a friend. Sure she got along with most people but a friend, a person she really trusted ..., no, those were rare in her life. And she realized that her avoiding Maggie was not only unfair but also likely to lose her as a friend, a friend she didn't deserve any longer, having given her the cold shoulder at the last crime scene. How much more patience could Sawyer come up with.

The dilemma was that Alex didn't trust herself to be around Sawyer and not act awkward like a love-struck teenager. "Really! At my age, for crying out loud", Alex vented "Let's be professional." Her last words to Maggie were still ringing shamefully in her ears. She had hurled that insult at herself so many times over the last days and it still stung. "Professional ha, yes Danvers you are professional, a real professional mess. Way to go Danvers. Great self-control."

So Alex heart broke all over again at this double loss, her stoic facade crumbling down as the tears started falling, again. That's how Kara found her late afternoon in Alex's apartment, haunted eyes staring out of the window into nothingness, tears drying on her cheeks. Two weeks of this self punishment had left Alex utterly exhausted and it started to show in the mirror. Kara took Alex in her arms and hugged her tightly. While holding her, Kara decided that it was high time for an intervention. "Hey big sis", she whispered in her ear, "We need to talk. Your self destruction scares me. Your body can't take this abuse much longer. You are overworked, sleep-deprived, out of focus and I really worry about you when you go out in the field." Alex wanted to interrupt. "Don't bother arguing. Hank agrees and will bench you, yes desk-duty for you, which will only make you more miserable. We need a plan, a new strategy because what you are doing right now is decidedly not working. So for once in your life, you will let me take care of you. Ok?" Alex just swallowed.

"We will eat together, get you some meds so you have a decent night's sleep and tomorrow morning we will stick our heads together and work something out. Sounds good to you?" Alex just nodded but couldn't help the little ball of hope flaming up in her gut. Maybe Kara had a plan. Maybe together they could work something out. After all the Danvers sisters came with a warning.


End file.
